Through the Wringer

 This is my First entry and the first thing I would like to say is,,,,, Thank you God.
When I was 18, I became a christian, I repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour.
 After about 10 years or so I backslide but my faith of God never left me nor did He leave me, I went way down a sinful road and turned my back on the christian life.
I stopped going to church and being with other christians, my marriage failed my business failed and everything about my life sucked.
I knew God was there but I didn't follow on His way, most nights I would end the day by saying "forgive me Lord" I knew I wasn't walking the christian life and the next day I would continue my backslide way.
Two and a half years ago I began to buckle at the knees with the weight of my wrong doing in not following Christ as I should have been for the past 15 years, my guilt gripped me when I thought of all my sins.
 I begged God to forgive me and take me home, nothing about my life for the past 15 years had gone right, I just wanted to stop living, I felt so hurt by rejection and I couldn't forgive myself of the hurt that I had cause to others so I begged God to end my life, "Take me home" I would cry all the time and in a constant pain, my life was a mess with bad relationships and not following Gods way.
I got no response to my resignation to life, I even prayed that if you don't get back to me on this God, I will take it as an acceptance of my resignation and do the termination myself.
Looking back at that now I see how selfish that I was as well as everything else that was in my life and in january this year I turned up at my old church having not been there for so long, I began to put my life through the wringer as all my sins surfaced, I was wrecked by the guilt of it all and began the process of forgiving myself.
God forgives in an instance you confess to Him, I'll put myself through the wringer but God won't, He puts all my sins as far east of west, His love for me and everyone else was the gift of salvation through His Son Jesus Christ.
Now all I want to do is shout from the roof tops thanking God.